200 Films of 2012

What do the numbers 0, 1, 3, 3.14159, 5, 7, 21, 30, 40, 360, 1000, and 10⁹ have to do with this past year’s films?  How many films were made based on books, short stories, fables or essays?  What movie starred a Newport, TN, native?

Wrestling Tanka 001

John Cena vs. Umaga
World Heavyweight Championship
Last Man Standing
WWE: Royal Rumble 2007

Umaga, the brute
Cena, the noble hero
Epic, at its root.
     Brutality, well defined,
     For which, no ring was designed.

Devil's Backbone (2001)/ Orphanage (2007)

This was a double feature recommended to me by a physician that works in the clinic where I'm employed, us both being fans of Guillermo del Toro film.

Director: Guillermo del Toro
Starring Marisa Paredes; Eduardo Noriega; Frederico Luppi; Fernando Tielve; Junio Valverde ("Santi")
Spain; El Deseo S.A., 106min
Original title: El espinazo del diablo
Tagline: "What is a ghost?"

~~~O~~~

 

I can tell you what a ghost is:  It's a creepy little fucker lurking in the shadows, with fucked up eyes and popping out of the shadows.  Eeugh!

 

I have a greater comment on both films as a whole, after my review of "Orphanage," but with this film individually, I liked the pervasive presence of the defused (or is it?) bomb in the middle of the boys' home, foreshadowing the explosions - perhaps both figurative and literal - to come.

 

Frederico Luppi strikes a commanding presence, and no surprise there, ushering as he did (with great aplomb) the lead role in del Toro's directoral debut "Cronos."  His resolve to sit vigilantly, vengefully, and mortally wounded, with his shotgun, at a window overlooking the entry to the orphanage, waiting for the return of Jacinto so he can exact revenge, with only his record player to keep him company ... that's a dude you don't fuck with.  Even if he does keep spina bifida babies preserved in mason jars of liquor *hulp*.

 

The special effects are very good, and there is nice, subtle work done particularly in the POV shots that we get from the ghost - where vision is affected by a wavy distortion like that you get when you open your eyes underwater - and with the missing leg of the headmistress of the home, and I haven't verified this but I'm certain Marisa Paredes isn't short a gam to the tune of one in real life, so that makes her Spanish horror's answer to Lieutenant Dan.¹

 

A great film, easily a 3 count.

 

~~~O~~~

 

Director: Juan Antonio Bayona
Starring Belen Rueda; Fernando Cayo; Roger Princep
Spain; Picturehouse Ent., 105min
Original title: El orfanato
Tagline: "A tale of love.  A story of horror."

 

~~~O~~~

 

What is it with 2007 and creepy kids with burlap sacks on their heads?²

 

This film called to mind "Stir of Echoes" (ghosts having to irritate a living being to get their own detective work done), "What Lies Beneath" (a woman who can't say for sure if she's being touched by the supernatural, and a husband who thinks she's batshit crazy), and "The Others," although, admittedly, this last one came to mind mainly through the critical text on the DVD case.  Well, that and the story of an adult woman beseiged by child ghosts.

 

A very somber film, and it really cheats you, too, especially with the twists at the end.  It's no spoiler to tell you that everything is dead in "Orphanage."   It's not necessarily a mortal death, but certainly that's there.  But there's a lot of existential death too, because, as characters reveal themselves, you realize that some are dead inside; in one scene, a medium introduces herself to Laura by comparing the scars on their wrists, the older medium having more, as if you can count their age differences like you count rings on trees.  Even Simon, infected with HIV and treated (against better nature) like Schroedinger's cat³, .  And there are films that present stories of parents who have lost children, but few really convey by the third act the despair felt when you realize your child is gone for good.  The acting on the part of Rueda, rocking her Simon as she shoves pills down her throat by the fistful, wrenches your heart in the end, more than enough to make up for the "Saw"-like montage of clues⁴ leading up to the denouement.

 

2 3/4 count.

 

Both films, seen together, weave a context of the alienation of children, and the willingness on the part of adults to throw children away.  Children are helpless, defenseless to their plight.  Tellingly, the only adults that fight for the voices of these kids to be heard end up dead.

 

There's also the dichotomous concept presented of the preservation of childhood.  Santi, the ghost of "Backbone," is depicted in his underwater grave as if he's encased in amber.  The ghosts of the orphans who died in "Orphanage" are forever young; in a bit of foreshadowing, Simon in "Orphanage" repeatedly requests telling of the Peter Pan fable.  Unfortunately, living forever young is not an option in reality, and it's ultimately only achieved by young death.  Even Dr. Casares in "Backbone," who dies as an old man, spent his life attempting to return to his youth, taking measures as drastic as drinking the aqueous medium used to pickle spina bifida babies. 

 

Mentioning again the foreshadowing in these films:  Both films use foreshadowing to establish the pending doom, and in some films, foreshadowing can be so heavy-handed that it takes me out of a film completely.  However, sometimes, it can be handled to add an extra angle to a film, when you want to rewatch a film to look for the clues left behind.  When some go for the obvious - the "crazy old man" types in films like "Friday the 13th," for example - sometimes this conceit can go right - Jacinto in "Backbone" discussing his plans to get rich and burn down the orphanage & incinerate the horrible memories of the place; Simon's parallels drawn between his mother and Wendy in "Peter Pan."  Seen together, there's even a callback in "Orphanage" to "Backbone," when Carlos relays, almost verbatim, the "What is a ghost?" monologue from "Backbone" in an attempt to snap her back to her senses; seen separately, this might not have stood out so great.  These things would ordinarily be lost, subtle as they are (and, as foreshadowing, should ideally be), but - again, despite of (or in spite of) their absense in the final reels of clues (Thanks, "Saw!") - they are appreciated as a part of the greater whole.

 

¹A legless character in the film "Forrest Gump," played by bipedal actor Gary Sinise.

²"Trick or Treat" (2007) also features the character of Sam, a sinister child who wears a burlap mask.

³A concept from quantum physics that dictates that atoms - and, therefore, things made from atoms (like animals) - can occupy the simultaneous states of life AND death, and only our attention to these atoms defines their state at that time.  From Parsons, P.  (Ed.).  (2009).  30-Second Theories.  New York, NY: Fall River Press.  See also:  Talk of the Nation - Science Friday (NPR): Ask a Quantum Mechanic, 14 Dec 2012.  (http://www.npr.org/2012/12/14/167255707/ask-a-quantum-mechanic).

⁴A technique in itself stolen from "Usual Suspects."



First Lines: The Quentin Tarantino Edition

The tones of films are often set by the first lines of dialogue spoken in the opening scenes.  Here’s a rundown of the first lines from the films of Quentin Tarantino*.

Reservoir Dogs
  "Let me tell you what 'Like a Virgin's' about.  It's about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick.  The whole song, it's a metaphor for big dicks."
- Mr. Brown (Quentin Tarantino)

Pulp Fiction
  "Forget it, it's too risky.  I'm through doing that shit."
- Pumpkin (Tim Roth)

Jackie Brown
  "Flight 710 to Cabo San Lucas, now boarding, Gate 103.  First class only.  Flight 710 to Cabo San Lucas, now boarding, Gate 103.  First class only."
- Girl at Security Gate (Colleen Mayne)

Kill Bill
  "Do you find me sadistic?  You know, I bet I could fry an egg on your head right now, if I wanted to.  You know, kiddo, I'd like to believe you're aware enough, even now, to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions.  Well, maybe to those other jokers.  But not you.  No, kiddo.  At this moment, this is me at my most masochistic."
- Bill (David Carradine)

Grindhouse: Death Proof
  "Hold on, I gotta come up!  I gotta take the world's biggest fuckin' piss!"
- Arlene (Vanessa Ferlito)

Inglourious Basterds¹
  "Go back inside and shut the door.  Julie, go get me some water for my wash up, then get inside with your sisters."²
- Perrier La Padite (Denis Menochet)

* Minus Django Unchained.
¹This is the last Tarantino film that was edited by frequent collaborator Sally Menke, prior to her death in 2010. ²Translated from French.

Cave of the Living Dead (1964)

Herr Director: Akos Rathonyi
Starring Adrian Hoven; Erika Remberg; Carl Mohner; Wolfgang Preiss
Germany; Objectiv Film, 87min
A/K/A Night of the Vampires (its US release title)
Tagline: "Beyond the black mouth of the cursed cave lurk the unfleshed ..."

 

~~~ O ~~~

 

I watched this Saturday night ... well, to be truthful, I had to watch it over the course of Friday and Saturday night, because this film takes a little bit to get going in the early parts. The synopsis is that there's a murderer on the loose in this small town, so a detective scarpers off to see what's up. He stumbles upon a vampire plot, run by one of a few shady characters in the village. This movie plays itself out more like a mystery than straight up horror.  There are a few creepy suspects - the village physician (played with menacing aplomb by Mohner) is an especially effective character.  But, seriously, once you hear the villagers talk of the scientist that lives in the abandoned castle that just recently moved to the area ... it's a no-brainer.

Wolfgang Preiss comes to this film having spent the better part of five years ushering in the role of Dr. Mabuse, starting with 1960's "The 1000 Eyes of Dr. Mabuse" and rounding out with "Dr. Mabuse vs. Scotland Yard," which was released the year prior to this film.¹ He portrays Dr. von Adelsberg with a satisfactory air of menace; however, because of that, if the director was going for a mystery angle with this vampire horror film, all pretense of anyone else being the villain goes out the window (as I mentioned before).

I also liked the character of John the man-servant, portrayed by actor John Kitzmiller.  He provided a strong supporting role for the inspector later in the film.  The Civil Rights Act was in its infancy - having been enacted the same year as this film was released - so there were still a lot of "mammy" and "Stepin Fetchit"² roles in films, so to see this butler play a mannered, erudite man of the world is actually pretty refreshing (the "colored" references and a brief bit where two characters joke about the possible existence of a "black vampire" notwithstanding).

The vampire kill scene is pretty creepy, so that gets some big points.  Upon the death of the lead vampire, the other vampires (which number all of one at this point in the film) die as well.  John the butler offers the denouement on the proceedings, and we fade to black under the same swingin' jazz tune that started the film.  All of this leaves the film a bit flat, but really, how do you end films like these the most effectively?  They can't all be "He tampered in God's domain," right?³

Rating: 2 1/2 count

¹Points in between are: "Return of Dr. Mabuse," 1961; "Invisible Dr. Mabuse," 1962; and, "Terror of Dr. Mabuse," 1962.
²Stage name of actor Lincoln Theodore Monroe Andrew Perry; a controversial actor, since he was the first black actor to receive a screen credit, but he instilled his roles with negative stereotypes for black people in behavior, speech, mannerisms, thought process, etc.  See: Watkins, M.  (2006).  Stepin Fetchit: the life & times of Lincoln Perry.  New York: Random House.
³The final words (flatly) spoken at the end of Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster," (1955), a prototype for awkward endings in films.

Outlook for DVD releases next week: 25 September 2012

I'm actually curious about what other DVDs will be competing with the "Avengers" onslaught next week.  I always like digging around in the farthest (i.e. lowest) end of Amazon's Coming Soon list, filtered by "Most Popular."  Let's see what treasures await, shall we?

Undertaker's Streak Wrestling Observer Star Ratings

I've been working on a wrestling match "tournament" of sorts, with the intent to compare the matches that Dave Meltzer (of the Wrestling Observer¹) has rated as "five stars" (the highest rating given) to each other, to see what, in my opinion, ends up being the best one.

More on that later.

In doing the research for these matches, I began to be curious about different star ratings under different categories. After crunching numbers and looking at different wrestlers and different pay-per-views, etc., I got curious about all of those matches that have made up the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak². From his first Mania match to the most recent as of this writing (his 20th, incidentally), here's what Melzter rated those matches:

Ratings from * (lowest) to ***** (highest) , with occasional special ratings ascribed to some matches.

Wrestlemania 7

Undertaker d. Jimmy Snuka *

Wrestlemania 8

Undertaker d. Jake Roberts 3/4* (three-fourths of one star)

Wrestlemania 9

Undertaker d. Giant Gonzalez *1/4

Wrestlemania 11³

Undertaker d. King Kong Bundy -* (negative one star)

Wrestlemania 12

Undertaker d. Diesel (Kevin Nash) **1/4

Wrestlemania 13

Undertaker d. Sid Vicious *1/4
- for the WWF Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania 14

Undertaker d. Kane *1/2

Wrestlemania 15

Undertaker d. Big Boss Man "DUD"
NOTE: This was a Hell In The Cell match.

Wrestlemania 17⁴

Undertaker d. Triple H ***1/2

Wrestlemania 18

Undertaker d. Ric Flair ***

Wrestlemania 19

Undertaker d. Big Show & A-Train *1/4
NOTE: This was a handicap match.

Wrestlemania 20

Undertaker d. Kane *1/4

Wrestlemania 21

Undertaker d. Randy Orton ***1/2

Wrestlemania 22

Undertaker d. Mark Henry *1/2
NOTE: This was a casket match.

Wrestlemania 23

Undertaker d. Batista ****
- for the World Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania 24

Undertaker d. Edge ****1/4
- for the World Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania 25

Undertaker d. Shawn Michaels ****3/4

Wrestlemania 26

Undertaker d. Shawn Michaels ****3/4
NOTE: Michaels stipulated that if he lost this match, he would retire.

Wrestlemania 27

Undertaker d. Triple H ****1/2

Wrestlemania 28

Undertaker d. Triple H ****3/4
NOTE: This was a Hell in the Cell match. Shawn Michaels was assigned as the special guest referee.

----------

Now, I'm all about dorking out with stats.  Here's the Undertaker "streak" matches, ranked from highest to lowest ranking:

4.75 - (tie x3) vs. Shawn Michaels (WMs 25 & 26); vs. Triple H (WM 28)
4.5 - vs. Triple H (WM 27)
4.25 - vs. Edge (WM 24)
4.0 - vs. Batista (WM 23)
3.5 - (tie) vs. Triple H (WM 17); vs. Randy Orton (WM 21)
3.0 - vs. Ric Flair (WM 18)
2.25 - vs. Diesel (WM 12)
1.5 - (tie) vs. Kane (WM 14); vs. Mark Henry (WM 22)
1.25 - (tie x4) vs. Giant Gonzalez (WM 9); vs. Sid Vicious (WM 13); vs. Big Show & A-Train (WM 19); vs. Kane (WM 20)
1.0 - vs. Jimmy Snuka (WM 7)
> 1.0 - vs. Jake Roberts (3/4*, WM 8); vs. King Kong Bundy (-*, WM 11); vs. Big Boss Man (DUD, WM 15)

Mean star rating (with DUD = 0): 2.4, or **2/5 ...
Jesus Harold Christ, 11 matches under the three star line.  He may be undefeated, but he hasn't been bringing even his "C" game for these matches.

Highest rated title match: vs. Edge, WM 24 (****1/4)
Lowest rated title match: vs. Sid Vicious, WM 13 (*1/4)

Highest rated gimmick match: vs. Triple H, WM 28 (Hell in the Cell, ****3/4)
Lowest rated gimmick match: vs. Big Boss Man, WM 15 (Hell in the Cell, DUD)

----------

Notes:
¹The Wrestling Observer Newsletter began in 1983, beginning life as a print zine. One of the first publications to cover wrestling from a more journalistic, non-carny angle, the WON covered behind-the-scenes news and reviewed wrestling from a perspective far removed from the Apter magazines, a family of wrestling magazines that covered the more "kayfabed" aspects of pro wrestling.

²The Undertaker has never lost a match at Wrestlemania. Of the twenty matches that 'Taker has participated in, he has won seventeen matches by pinfall, one match by disqualification (vs. Giant Gonzalez, Wrestlemania 9), one match by casket imprisonment (vs. Mark Henry, Wrestlemania 22), and one match by submission (vs. Edge, Wrestlemania 24).

³The Undertaker missed Wrestlemania 10 due to surgery.

⁴The Undertaker missed Wrestlemania 16 due to a torn tricep.