1. 21 Jump Street
2. 360
3. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
4. Act of Valor
5. Alex Cross
6. Almost Perfect
7. Amazing Spider-Man
8. American Reunion
9. Anna Karenina
10. Apparition
11. Arbitrage
12. Argo
13. Atlas Shrugged Part 2
14. Avengers
15. Awakening
16. Bachelorette
17. Bait
18. Battleship
19. Being Flynn
20. Beneath the Darkness
21. Bernie
22. Big Miracle
23. Blue Like Jazz
24. Bourne Legacy
25. Brave
26. Bully
27. Cabin in the Woods
28. Campaign, the
29. Casa de Mi Padre
30. Cat in Paris
31. Chasing Mavericks
32. Chernobyl Diaries
33. Chronicle
34. Cloud Atlas
35. Cold Light of Day
36. Collection, the
37. Come Out and Play
38. Contraband
39. Coriolanus
40. Cosmopolis
41. Dark Knight Rises
42. Dark Shadows
43. Darling Companion
44. Day, the
45. Deadfall
46. Devil Inside
47. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days
48. Dictator
49. Divide, the
50. Django Unchained
51. Dredd
52. End of Watch
53. Expendables 2
54. Five Year Engagement
55. Flight
56. For a Good Time Call …
57. Frankenweenie
58. Friends With Kids
59. Fun Size
60. Fury
61. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
62. Gone
63. Good Deeds
64. Goon, the
65. Grey, the
66. Guilt Trip
67. Haywire
68. Hello I Must Be Going
69. Here Comes the Boom
70. Hit and Run
71. Hitchcock
72. Hobbit, the: An Unexpected Journey
73. Hole, the
74. Hope Springs
75. Hotel Transylvania
76. House at the End of the Street
77. Hunger Games
78. Hyde Park on the Hudson
79. Ice Age: Continental Drift
80. In-Betweeners
81. Innkeepers
82. Iron Sky
83. Jack & Diane
84. Jack Reacher
85. Jeff Who Lives At Home
86. John Carter
87. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
88. Joyful Noise
89. Katy Perry: Part of Me
90. Keyhole
91. Killer Joe
92. Killing Them Softly
93. Last Ounce of Courage
94. Lawless
95. Les Miserables
96. Liar’s Autobiography, a: The Untrue Story of Monty
Python’s Graham Chapman
97. Life Happens
98. Life of Pi
99. Lincoln
100. Lockout
101. LOL
102. Looper
103. Lorax, the
104. Lucky One
105. Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
106. Madea’s Witness Protection
107. Magic Mike
108. Magic of Belle Isle
109. Man on a Ledge
110. Man With the Iron Fists
111. Mansome
112. Master, the
113. Men in Black 3
114. Mirror Mirror
115. Moonrise Kingdom
116. Nature Calls
117. Nitro Circus: The Movie
118. Not Fade Away
119. Odd Life of Timothy Green
120. One for the Money
121. Oogieloves in Big Balloon Adventure
122. Oranges, the
123. Paperboy, the
124. Paranormal Activity 4
125. ParaNorman
126. Parental Guidance
127. Paul Williams: Still Alive
128. People Like Us
129. Perfect Family
130. Perks of Being a Wallflower
131. Piranha 3DD
132. Pirates! Band of Misfits
133. Pitch Perfect
134. Playing for Keeps
135. Possession
136. Premium Rush
137. Project X
138. Prometheus
139. Promised Land
140. Raid: Redemption
141. Rampart
142. Raven
143. Red Dawn
144. Red Tails
145. Resident Evil: Retribution
146. Rise of the Guardians
147. Rock of Ages
148. Ruby Sparks
149. Safe
150. Safe House
151. Savages
152. Secret World of Arrietty
153. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
154. Sessions, the
155. Seven Psychopaths
156. Silent Hill: Revelation
157. Silent House
158. Silver Linings Playbook
159. Sinister
160. Skyfall
161. Smashed
162. Smiley
163. Snow White & The Huntsmen
164. Sparkle
165. Stand Up Guys
166. Step Up: Revolution
167. Stolen
168. Take This Waltz
169. Taken 2
170. Tall Man
171. Ted
172. That’s My Boy
173. Think Like a Man
174. This is 40
175. This is Not a Film
176. This Means War
177. This Must Be The Place
178. Thousand Words
179. Three Stooges
180. Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie
181. Total Recall
182. Toys in the Attic
183. Trouble with the Curve
184. Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2
185. Understudy
186. Underworld: Awakening
187. V/H/S
188. Vamps
189. Vow, the
190. Wanderlust
191. Watch, the
192. What to Expect When You’re Expecting
193. Without a Net
194. Woman in Black
195. Won’t Back Down
196. Words, the
197. Wrath of the Titans
198. Wreck-It Ralph
199. Yellow
200. Zero Dark Thirty
Nate dorks out with the
stats:
By the numbers (numbers in the titles, not counting
sequel units, or the 3 in 3D-anything): “Zero Dark Thirty” – “Lucky One”/ “One For The Money” – “Three Stooges” – “Life of Pi”(3.14159) – “Five Year Engagement” – “Seven Psychopaths” – “21 Jump Street” – “Zero Dark Thirty” – “This is 40” – “360” – “Thousand Words” – “Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie”
Hello, My Name is …:
Abraham; Alex; Anna; Arrietty; Bourne; Diane; Django; Dredd; Eric; Flynn; Hitchcock; Jack; Jeff; Joe; John; Katy; Lincoln; Madea; Mike; Norman; Paul; Ralph; Ted; Timothy
Don’t Sing It, Bring It:
“Devil Inside” – INXS; “Hello I Must Be Going”– Groucho Marx; “Here Comes the Boom” – POD; “Jack & Diane” – John Cougar Mellencamp; “Lucky One” – Amy Grant; “Not Fade Away” – Buddy Holly; “One for the Money” – Horace Brown; “Playing for Keeps” – Elvis Presley; “Rock of Ages” – Def Leppard; “This Must Be the Place” – Talking Heads; “Toys in the Attic” – Aerosmith
Honorable mentions: “Killing THEM Softly;” “(I) Won’t Back Down”
Unreal Estate:
“Cabin in the Woods;” “Casa de mi Padre;” “Hotel Transylvania;” “House at the End of the Street;” “Innkeepers;” “Jeff Who Lives at Home;” “Safe House;“ “Silent House”
Colon Blow:
“Abraham
Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” – “Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days” – “Ghost Rider:
Spirit of Vengeance” – “Hobbit, the: An Unexpected Journey” – “Ice Age:
Continental Drift” – “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island” – “Katy Perry: Part of
Me” – “Liar’s Autobiography, a: The Untrue Story of Monty Python’s Graham” -
Chapman “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted” – “Nitro Circus: The Movie” – “Paul
Williams: Still Alive” – “Raid: Redemption” – “Resident Evil: Retribution” – “Silent
Hill: Revelation” – “Step Up: Revolution” – “Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn –
Part 2” – “Underworld: Awakening”
Sidebar statistics: 11 are sequels; in 3 of the titles, the word
following the colon begins with the letter R
The Roy G. Biv Award:
“Red Dawn”/ “Red Tails;” “Oranges;” “Yellow;” “Odd Life of Timothy Green;” “Blue Like Jazz” … no Indigo; no Violet.
Honorable mentions: “The Grey;” “Men In Black 3”/ “Woman in Black;” “Snow White & The Huntsman.”
Four Elements:
Earth: “Rock of Ages”
Air: “Cloud Atlas”
Fire: “Ruby Sparks;
Water: “Ice Age: Continental Drift”
Films Starring Newport, TN, Natives: Last Ounce of Courage
To Sum Up, in One Word:
31% (62 of 200) of the above 200 film titles are one-word titles (excluding “the’s,” qualifiers like “Marvel’s The Avengers” or “Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Witness Protection,” but counting sequel numbers like “Taken 2” as they differentiate the film as an entirely different entity).
Based on the “award-winning”/ “best selling”:
Boardgame/ toy: Battleship
Book : Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter; Alex Cross (character); Anna Karenina; Atlas Shrugged Part 2; Being Flynn; Blue Like Jazz; Bourne Legacy; Cloud Atlas; Cosmopolis; Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days; Goon, the; Grey, the (short story); Hitchcock; Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey; Hunger Games; Jack Reacher; John Carter; Journey 2: The Mysterious Island; Killing Them Softly; Lawless; Liar’s Autobiography, a: The Untrue Story of Monty Python’s Graham Chapman; Life of Pi; Lincoln; Lorax, the; Lucky One; Mirror Mirror (fable); One for the Money; Paperboy, the; Perks of Being a Wallflower; Pirates! Band of Misfits; Pitch Perfect; Rise of the Guardians; Savages; Secret World of Arrietty; Sessions, the (essay); Silver Linings Playbook; Skyfall (characters); Snow White & the Huntsman (fable); Think Like a Man; Total Recall; Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2; What to Expect When You’re Expecting; Woman in Black
Comic book/ series: Amazing Spider-Man; Avengers; Dark Knight Rises; Dredd; Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance; Men in Black 3 (characters)
Original film (i.e. a remake): Contraband (remake of “Reykjavik-Rotterdam,” 2008); Frankenweenie; LOL; Red Dawn; Silent House; Sparkle; Three Stooges (characters/ short subjects)
Play: 360; Coriolanus; Killer Joe; Les Miserables; Rock of Ages
TV show: 21 Jump Street; Dark Shadows; In-Betweeners; Nitro Circus: The Movie; Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie
Videogame: Resident Evil: Retribution; Silent Hill: Revelation; Wreck-It Ralph (characters)
% of sequels/ prequels/ re-imaginings/ reboots/ spin-offs/ supposed parts of whole films: 14% (28/200)
Did we really need …:
… two films about Snow White (“Mirror Mirror,” “Snow White and the Huntsman”)?
… two films about the unimaginative fashion sense of the two genders (“Men in Black 3,” “Woman in Black”)?
… two films about Abraham Lincoln (“Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer,” “Lincoln”)?
… two shitty films about demonic possession (“Devil Inside,” “Possession”)?
… two films titled “Hope Springs” (the other was in 2008)?
… so many movies about war, the Seals, Osama Bin Laden, Afghanistan or the general Middle East, etc.?
That’s quite enough of you:
Tyler Perry (I’m convinced that he hates black people … but not enough to take their money)
Morgan Spurlock (dude becomes a fat fuck and all of a sudden he’s a film director)
Jamie Foxx (I don’t care how many times the word “nigger” is said in this movie, I’m boycotting it for the lead actor, who will never be anything more than Wanda from “In Living Color,” I don’t care how many blind musician parodies he wins fucking Oscars for, and rumor is that fucker will play Electro in the next Spider-Man film? Ugh …)
Jessica Beil (easily the plainest leading lady this side of whatever that girl’s name is from those “Twilight” films).
One quick "Gas Face:"
Fuck you, "Film Threat," for being sandy vaginas and no longer doing a "Hollywood's Frigid 50." "Film Threat" used to be a literary middle finger in the face of Hollywood bullshit, and now they swing so far in the opposite direction to be the supposed champions of independent film, that they've lost their vitriol. When one of my favorite critics, Pete Vonder Haar, up and split, the writing was on the wall. Gas face given ...
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